Mia has always been a strong minded little girl and as she is growing up and slowly learning about herself and the things she likes and doesn't like, this is becoming more and more so. Don't get me wrong I want her to be a strong, independent girl, but that does not make things easy from a parenting point of view. Kid's are kids, we all know that their mind changes in a matter of seconds and that the smallest of things can send them into a swirling, spiral, of a screaming tantrum.
I am usually pretty calm and controlled during the many temper tantrums but there have been a few times where I couldn't hold it together anymore. For example, we were sat outside dance class a few weeks ago and Mia decided she didn't want to go in anymore. I have no idea why as it is something she really loves, so I tried the usual techniques but she wouldn't go in! I said she had to sit with me in the waiting area, to which she then got even more upset because she wasn't going to dance class! I opened the door to let her go in, oh and nope once again she didn't want to go in. Then out of nowhere she completely lost her mind she was screaming and crying and to be honest I had no idea what it was even over! Then it happened...my lovely little girl decides to bite me on the hand in front of a room full of other mums! I wanted the room to swallow me whole, I was so unbelievably embarrassed, I couldn't believe it. I picked her up and carried her, kicking and screaming back to the car, I even had a man stop his car and let me go past with Mia under my arm loosing her her mind! I got her in the car, still screaming and shut the car door. I felt like I had completely failed as a mum at that point, nothing I said made her calm down, I just stood there next to the car sobbing!
I felt like her behaviour outside dance class was a reflection on how I had been bringing her up, and like everyone around me was now judging me and my little girl, which broke my heart. I knew this was not the little girl that Mia was. I was so worried about going back the following week, not because of Mia, but because I was terrified what all those other mums were going to be thinking of both myself and of Mia. You know what it is like when you're in the room full of mums or parents, everyone talking about their child and the feeling of having them looking down at you.
Well, when we went back that following week my whole outlook was changed, we were all laughing about it and some of the other mums started talking about their tantrum troubles, and I even had one mum say; you stayed a lot calmer and dealt with it a lot better than I would of in your situation! These few moments with other mums made me feel a million times better, knowing I wasn't the only one.
There are so many pressures as a mum, from am I playing with her enough, am I teaching her wrong from right, is she eating right and that's just the start. It makes such a huge difference if Mum's stick together; rather than judging one another, us Mums should be standing up, helping and supporting one another.
Next time you see another Mum having a hard time with a toddler or a child, a small smile or even that little bit of reassurance, could make a huge difference to their day, and even give them that boost to carry on and not completely lose their shit!
Have you found yourself in a situation similar to the one I was?
I would love to hear your stories.
Thanks for reading.
Chrissy x
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